Hi, I'm Annina Sorensen, and I have opinions. I also have biases and deeply held personal beliefs.
So, how does that impact my relationship with my clients and the decisions they make?
It's true, I can't just "get over" or "get rid of" my opinions and deeply held beliefs, and while I strive to overcome my biases, that can take a lot of time. However, I can overcome all of these things.
What's the difference between "getting rid of" an opinion, belief, or bias and overcoming one?
I'll give you an example.
Personally, I chose not to have an epidural when my daughter was born. There were lots of reasons I made that decision, but they all come down to my deeply held opinions and beliefs. However, as previously mentioned, if I have a client that decides from the very beginning that they want an epidural, I 100% support their decision. I would probably still choose not to have an epidural for my own birth (I haven't "gotten rid of" my own opinions), but I absolutely support someone else's decision to have one (I have "overcome" the belief that my opinion is the "best" opinion).
Why?
I'm not them. It's as simple as that.
Why should I get to determine what the "best" way to birth is for my clients? I shouldn't. It's not my labor, it's theirs. They have their own unique experiences, labors, bodies, and lives, and I cannot make decisions for them because I am not them.
Now, if a client comes to me and says they want an epidural, and it happens to be because they don't know what other options they have, or they haven't decided yet what kind of birth they're hoping for, but they want to know more, I will lead them to resources that, if they choose to view them, can help them make an informed decision. (These sources might include a virtual or in-person childbirth class, books on different ways to give birth, such as hypnobirthing, or youtube videos from reputable sources that provide unbiased information about the pros and cons of various pain relief options).
My goal in doing this is not to change their mind. They can absolutely still decide they want an epidural, and I will support them through it all the way. My goal is simply to make sure they have access to information that will support them in their decision-making.
This also means that my clients can absolutely change their minds during labor, or at any other time, and I will not feel hurt, offended, or betrayed.
You might be reading this and thinking "Well, of course they can change their mind, they have basic human rights!" The thing is, labor can be a pretty weird time. Things that seem obvious when you're not in the middle of laboring might not be so clear when you're in the thick of it, especially if you're wrestling with your own emotions that can come with a change of mind. It can be common to feel like you're letting yourself or others down.
So, I just want to say right here, right now, changing your mind does not make you a failure. Changing your mind does not let anyone down. Every labor is completely different. You can't know what this specific labor will be like, even if it's not your first birth experience. It's completely reasonable that the things you decided or envisioned during your pregnancy may not be applicable when you're actually there in the moment.
And that's okay.